giving up immortality

Sometimes in life it's the people who are the closest to our heart who let us down, who break our trust. These blows are much greater in magnitude those those made from strangers. These make you sigh because you know that you will never look at them the same again, never really look at life the same again either. It's so frustrating, however when I look back at these incidents I realize that these are the times I really mature and learn about life and people. Perhaps without these incidents we will always remain carefree and innocent, however we never fully learn about this world and lack the power to extract all of life's sweet juices.

I think it might be nice to remain innocent, carefree forever. However without experiencing the lowest points in life one can never truly enjoy the high points. Sometimes I think that our highest enjoyment from life can one come after knowing the equal and opposite down side.

I remember hearing a Chinese story when I was little... it was about a fairy who lived in a sky and enjoyed immortality. But in the end she fell in love with a mortal and chose to give up her immortality and to stay with him dispite of the sadness and the suffering that might come, because in the end it was all the joy that was worth it. It's better to live a full life of ups and downs than to live - to just exist without being touched by life.


Cia's self portrait at seven yrs old