Being an only child, I've had to fight for most of the things that I wanted in my own life. Growing up in an english community with parents that weren't exactly fluent with the language, I've had to be my own parent in a lot of the ways, from dealing with all my teacher/peer problems to being encharge of answering the phone at home and being our english spokes person to telemarketers, the government and tv/internet/phone people. I've grown up not depending on anyone, and doing everything by myself. I've never really felt support from anyone beyond verbal superficial remarks, because in the end it's still just me and the front line. Now having partially grown up, I have trouble letting others help me. I've grown to see it as an indication of my own weakness and incapability. So I've come to realize that I have stubbornly taken a position where every failure and success is attributed directly and only to myself. I have to say, most of the times I have failed, thus bringing myself to gain a lower confidence in myself. Because of the way that I've grown up, I just cannot grasp the concept that there are other people who can help me. If they try, I push them away because I feel that if there are problems I can't solve about my by myself, then others don't even have a change, being outsiders and all. Perhaps in my life there are just no insiders. That's the problem.